Thursday, July 28, 2011

We're in the Top Quartile! Go USA!

Americans are obsessed with being number one in everything.  We have been for a long time.  Isn't that the point of the Space Race?  How dare the largest nation in the world try to land on the Moon before we do?  How about the 2008 Olympics?  How dare the most populous nation in the world get more Olympic gold medals? 

I have some sad news, America.  It turns out there's no prize.  When the Earth finally plummets into the Sun or the asteroid hits or whatever, Jesus isn't going to resurrect all the Americans and say, "You guys were the best sonsofbitches of all time!  Here's your trophy!"

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